The Safe Sub Center, Learn to be safe

Every submissive is responsible for their actions and the safety precautions they implement prior to participating in any BDSM activity. There is no way to guarantee you will not fall victim to a bad Dominant, however, you can greatly reduce your risk by simply taking the time to get to know a Dominant… S-L-O-W-L-Y!!!

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Many, if not every submissive has experienced it; even if they don’t know what it’s called. To put it bluntly, sub-frenzy is the overwhelming need to experience submission. The submissive will do anything to achieve it, no matter how stupid or un-safe an environment they put themselves in.
Who is a potential victim of sub-frenzy? *Every submissive* from the inexperienced newbie – to long time submissives who may have found themselves recently released from their Owners.
What are the signs or symptoms of sub-frenzy?
· Insatiable hunger to experience it ALL right NOW!

· Focused only in finding that special *One*.

· Falling “in love” with a new Dominant within hours or a few days of meeting/talking to Them.

· Giving your submission to any and every Dominant to “prove” your submission.

· Making poor or potentially dangerous decisions:

o Meeting Dom/me X on Monday and engaging in a BDSM session on Wednesday.
o Not setting up safe calls.
o Not establishing safe words
o Not informing anyone of your pending meeting with Dom/me X

· Accepting a collar without fully knowing a Dominant.
· Immediately believing everything a Dominant tells you.
· Ignoring your “gut” feelings.
· Agreeing to meet an on-line Dominant, in person - in a private setting versus a public place.
· Not checking a Dominant’s references, (previous submissives, friends in the community) prior to arranging a meeting.
· Changing your personality or ideals of submission to make your self more attractive to a potential Dominant.

Basically sub-frenzy is the state of wanting your submissive “fix” so desperately, you ultimately sacrifice your self. So how do you protect yourself from sub-frenzy? If you are new to the BDSM lifestyle, there are several ways to ensure you do not become a victim… not only of sub-frenzy, but also from unsavory Dominants Who prey on inexperienced and naïve submissives.
· Read all you can about the lifestyle before you decide what it is you *think* you want.
· Attend munches and local BDSM group functions.
· Find a submissive mentor.
· Ask questions… lots and LOTS of questions.
· Take time to know the Person inside the Dominant you are interested in.
· Discuss (prior to any session) exactly what you can expect and what is expected of you.
· Establish safe calls and safe words. (see safety issues if you don’t know what these are.)
· Gather complete and detailed personal information, including references from the Dominant prior to ANY encounter and follow them up.
· Be honest about yourself, including your experience or lack of, in the lifestyle.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seeing as this is an old post, I don't know if I will get a response. But have you any tips on a sub that's trying to not act on these urges. Playing alone is unsatisfying to me, I prefer real relationships over just scenes. But it's hard to not go crazy with desire when it's all you want and think about.
Any tips at all would be appreciated!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013 9:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would actually like some advice in this too, in an ideal world - anyone?

Monday, October 07, 2013 10:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Find a mentor. A hands-off mentor. Run a background search as you will get a first and last name. Google their email account. Ask to see a driver's license.

Thursday, October 24, 2013 6:44:00 AM  
Blogger Tikvah4u2 said...

I am really not clear if any of these things will help protect you. The most basic advice would be to get to know the person, just as you wouldn't jump into a "vanilla" sexual relationship don't jump into a bdsm one. Talk and spend time, if you have the need to bottom, play publicly with people you know are safe.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014 4:20:00 AM  

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